For many years now we've all known that it's "not easy being green", but a nihilistic, drug-addicted Kermit the Frog crooning Trent Reznor's ode to self-destruction, the Nine Inch Nails ballad "Hurt"? Whereas the dark side of my personality -- which is, admittedly, substantial -- revels in this type of black humour, my inner child laments the fact that I'll never be able to view Kermit in quite the same way again.