Alas, my poor neglected Blog, cast aside like yesterday's news for that flashy new kid in town, Facebook. Oh sure, Facebook may have the novelty factor and all the sexy bells & whistles. But you, my patient, long-suffering Blog, have been there from the start and possess much more depth and analysis. You knew I'd come back to ya, right?

(Okay, now I've squared things with Blogger...)

As those of you who read this blog may already know, I've recently had another child. For the one or two of you who are not on Facebook, here's a recap: Nigel Antony (yes, that's correctly spelled without the 'h') Linton-Martin was born at 4:20 a.m. on May 24th, 2007. Delivered at home by two wonderful midwives, Esther and Tracy, he arrived into this world weighing 9 lbs. 1 oz.

Yes, that's correct: "delivered at home". This fact tends to elicit a great number of shocked expressions, often followed by an exclamation of "wow, you're brave!" or "did you plan that?" Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to respond to all of your Home-Birth Frequently Asked Questions.

Q: Was your home-birth planned? Did you have a midwife?

A: Yes. Statistically, a planned home-birth attended by a trained midwife is as safe as a hospital birth. There's a mound of research available that compares the outcomes of home vs. hospital birth. Google it if you're interested. One must bear in mind, however, that in order to be a candidate for home-birth, the mom-to-be must be healthy and the pregnancy considered low-risk and without complications. While I truly believe that home-birth is an excellent alternative, it's clearly not an option for everyone.

Q: Did you have a natural birth? Didn't it hurt?

A: Oddly enough, I don't have an anesthesiologist working out of my house so, no, I didn't have an epidural nor any kind of pain-management drugs. Did it hurt? Fuck, yeah. I admit to possessing a certain female machismo in my ability to birth without drugs. Call it a "Darwinian pride" in my reproductive abilities.

Q: Wasn't it messy? What did you do with the placenta?

A: Yeah, birth is a messy process. You can buy fitted vinyl sheets that protect your mattress from stains. Needless to say, you don't place your best sheets on the bed, either. A cold water wash with rock-salt removes stains surprisingly well. With regards to the placenta, you can opt to bury it -- with or without an accompanying New Age or neo-pagan ritual -- or take the less sentimental option of tossing it in the green recycle bin. We chose the latter.

Q: Weren't you scared?

A: Not really. During the last few weeks of pregnancy I would experience the occasional twinge of anxiety and imagine some great tragedy of operatic proportions befalling either myself or my child. These anxious fantasies were always fleeting and in general no more remarkable than the usual tragedies of operatic proportions that swim through my head on a regular basis.

There. Now you know.